Another school year has come to a close at last, and with it our first year in Xiamen has concluded. What a ride.
I’m not going to lie, this past month has been trying in more ways than one, and I am really quite happy to be getting a 2 month vacation from Xiamen. Not that it’s necessarily bad, but it is different enough to be challenging, especially when combined with a number of other factors.
This is an annotated gallery of some of these challenges, some things I’ve found genuinely amusing, and Year 1 of my Chinglish collection. Don’t worry, we’ve plenty stories to tell. This is just a taste to whet your appetite. :)
A wild Goat has appeared! Goat uses Charm on Sara. It’s super effective!
A couple of literally dozens university dorm buildings in one part of town. Next year I’ll try to get some shots of public schools… Monumental stuff.
Looks safe to me!
You might think this is another picture of the power lines, but it is also of the man knocking down the wall he is standing on. Double safety whammy!
Look at that pristine grass field in the middle of- wait, that’s a pond? Oh.
We tried planning a Tonyi Wart field trip, but there were just too many bumps in the road.
I cherish both flowers and crass (behaviour). It’s why Matīss and I are such good friends.
Chinese kids LOVE stickers.
Whereas Chinese women love embryos and placentas. Honest.
I love cucumbers as much as the next Latvian, but, really? Not even pickle flavor?
I now only eat Fancy Grade meat.
It’s usually cabbage that carries a great wind to my life, but this sweet bread promises to do the same. Not sure if I should be happy about that.
Art. Also poetry?
One of the great things about China is its packaging habits. You buy what you expect is a carton of cookies or bag of gummy candy…
…only to find individually packaged pieces. Yup.
As a North-Eastern European, Xiamen winter doesn’t really need to be hotted up.
Nor do they need to be fogged up.
One of our favorite burger places, wishing all of us a happy consumer. Thanks!
So, is this a typo, or are they just straightforward about selling cons?
Nothing like a magic lock water circle to help one enjoy the pulchritude of life. I am almost envious of women now. Almost.
You know it’s American because it has an eagle and stars. And it says so. Clearly it Deserve You Trust.
‘Cemeral’ is a special kind of caramel they only make at cemetaries.
No, I’m reflecting on my failings as a speller.
The upper air does not appreciate things being thrown at it.
If you look carefully, you can find very rare prints of such classics as Traveler’s The Time Wife, The Bourne Inentity, Unfitful and Code Mame: The Cleaner.
Public bathrooms have some of the best examples of Chinglish. Case in point.
Take a number. You’ve a 50/50 chance.
Chinglish is a gold mine for dick jokes.
The guy’s stage name is literally Penis Penis!
‘No tossing’, tee hee.
Ew. I guess that’s why.
If I felt less awkward about taking photos of others, I’d have a whole gallery of fabulous outfits like this.
Look at those pants! Someone call the police.
That’s a pencil skirt atop skin-tight leather pants, by the way.
Neighbors doing stuff. Because we don’t need to get in our apartment.
Nor do we need to use the, you know, sidewalk or anything.
This car is more than meets the eye.
Not quite as good as NAIK or PUME, but CONVBERSE is still a pretty solid brand, imho.
Apparently, I caught the attention of the girl from The Grudge. You can see her stalking me on the left side.
I came in 3th in 3rd-legged race.
Abov all, however, know that China is a place of hope, exemplified by these shop signs, denoting what will eventually be in each lot. Eventually.
‘Do a beautiful woman’ was a goal I, myself, had as a young man. It’s good that China is encouraging its young people to aim high, but Natalie Portman might be a BIT of a lofty goal, no?
See you soon! ;)